If you think of erectile dysfunction as permanent problem, you might be wrong. My colleague sexologist and I often discuss the so-called “selective impotence”. To be honest, we invented this term ourselves. In our dinner conversations, it means that a man has an erection with one partner, or vice versa (everyone except one person).
“I get a boner only with HER”: What to do?
Quite often, our patients complain that they can have sex with only one partner. They say that others do not excite them at all, so they have no erection. At the same time, with that one and only partner, an erection arises literally at a glance.
Most often, this is an exclusively psychological problem. In such cases, better contact a therapist and, if you wish, a sexologist. Moreover, if you and your partner are completely satisfied with monogamy, just forget about it. On the other side, in case of separation, you run the risk of looking for a new “pathogen” for a long time.
Anyway, therapy might quickly help with such “selective impotence”. In addition, Viagra or other medications for erectile dysfunction may work in this situation. However, mind that you still need to be aroused if you want the pills work. For example, try to touch yourself if the new partner does not inspire sex drive in you.
“My erection arises with everyone except (name)”: The opposite situation
More often, men complain of the opposite. Most patients with “selective impotence” claim that they cannot achieve an erection with a regular partner, while with all the others their penises act great. Obviously, this problem also belongs to the field of psychology.
Maybe your relationship has just come to an end, or you have turned into each other’s relatives, not lovers. Anyway, therapy usually deals well with this problem, too. As in the previous example of “selective erectile dysfunction”, try taking special pills as “insurance.”
What you should never do is get drunk “for courage” or “to relax.” Even you experience erection difficulties rarely, excess alcohol will only make things worse.
Why not blame yourself in both cases
In most cases of such “selective” erection problems, you are not to blame. Well, if you have agreed on unconditional fidelity with the partner, but still decided to cheat on her or him, you may fail due to remorse. Open up and try again.
Most often, selective erection difficulties happen for trivial reasons. For example, a partner is clearly indifferent to sexual contact, or does not attract you at all, and so on. Sometimes a man just has to take Viagra a couple of times to re-believe in himself and forget about such problems.